


Leave it.

by Dumbtard (sophiethung)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn, Third Year Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio, Third Year Tsukishima Kei, Third Year Yamaguchi Tadashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2018-12-24 18:09:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12018249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophiethung/pseuds/Dumbtard
Summary: Hinata is in his third year at Karasuno, playing in the finals of nationals. The ace of a powerhouse school should be able to score, shouldn't he?Karasuno has been expected to win this year's nationals, as they have been doing for the past three years. However, the match goes south quickly and Karasuno is left in the dirt - and it's easy to see, to viewers in the stands, that the ace is the one to blame.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are very much appreciated :)

Being frequently called the Little Giant's successor puts weight on a player quickly. Still, that name isn't given easily, and Hinata worked hard to get to this point. He'd thought the ace that lives up to Karasuno's epic reputation from the past would at least be able to get in a single spike. Not that he compares himself to the Little Giant - nobody could really surpass that legendary ace, even if they had biology on their side. Sure, Hinata's not as small as he used to be, but the rest of his team is huge. And he still has to work twice as hard to get to the same point as that damned two-meter player on the other side. 

He's poured his heart and soul into volleyball for the past six years. Ever since he saw the Little Giant on TV that autumn, he's been training every day. In his first year at Karasuno, he helped the old team surpass all expectations, and win their first nationals. When Sugawara, Daichi and Asahi left, and the job of ace and captain were left to Ennoshita and Tanaka, he stripped himself apart and built himself up again just to keep up with his setter. As he entered his third year, and had their second trophy secured in the club room, the whispers of his surpassing the Little Giant as ace had started. A load of bull - not to mention impossible - but humbling all the same. 

Now he's on this court - the same one he's been on twice before now - and he's proving he's no Little Giant. He's standing just before the stark-blue line that marks the vanguard territory, brow furrowed as he's trying to figure out what to do next. He has to keep his hands planted firmly on his knees or he'll keel over, for sure. He rubs his thumb over the inside of his thigh, biting his lip to keep from moaning as pain shoots over his skin. No, he has to be strong. For his team. 

His captain is behind him, waiting for the whistle that'll mark the OK for his killer-serve. His setter is beside him, sweat beading off his brow and dripping to the floor. Their strategist and blocker has his teeth gritted; the bastard nearly broke all his fingers, Hinata thinks. He doesn't want to look up at the players opposite him, afraid of what form of evil look he'll see then. He does it anyway, and is met with a smirk from the setter that stands a whole head taller than him. Fine, he'll just have to suffer through that if it means showing the first-years on the bench that he's not afraid. 

One more point to go. They haven't dropped the ball yet, so there's still hope. Normally that would be enough to keep Hinata going, which is something he's actually quite proud of, but now his legs are stuck. He's been jumping as high as he can for at least two hours now, dashing from one end of the court to another with all his might. The stamina he's worked so damned hard for is at its end completely now. Hinata can feel the adrenaline running through his veins, but it's not enough. 

 _Paff_! The dull sound of Yamaguchi hitting the ball fills his ears, and soon the ball floats over his head to the lanky spiker in the back. This one's particularly bad at receiving, when compared to his teammates, so the chance ball they get here is nearly a given. Yuuto, their second-year libero, receives it nicely, and Hinata can't help but grin a little. This kid's definitely got potential. 

Kageyama's arms shake just slightly as he lifts them and - oh shit, all the blocker are there - Hinata forces his legs to move towards the left. If he could scream at this point, he would, but he needs to focus on the ball. Kage's form is failing, but his accuracy isn't. Hinata grunts and jumps, ignoring the pain that shoots through his entire body. 

The ball drops to the floor with a dull thud, untouched and in front of Hinata's feet. What?

The hall, the packed hall, is silent for only a second. Then roars of the supporters on the right side of the court fill his ears, deafening him. No, but he'd jumped, he'd aimed and everything. How could he have missed? 

Then realization hits Hinata like a truck, crushing the air from his lungs and buckling his knees underneath him. _He never made it to the top_. He, Hinata, the ace of Karasuno, known for his physics-defying jumps, never made it to the top of the net. All he wants to do is cry, but another man's sob behind him prevents him from doing so.

Yamaguchi is on his knees, too, his hands gripped into the mess he calls hair. Oh, fuck. Hinata pushes himself up, though he can't, really, and stumbles towards Yamaguchi. He doesn't make it, because he's a total loser who can't even walk right, but Yamaguchi catches him before he falls completely. Hinata lets Yamaguchi sob into his shirt, though he doesn't really want to let him. He wants to push Yamaguchi away and tear all the hair from his head, to scream at their opponents.

Hinata takes a shaky breath instead.

"Don't worry, Yamaguchi," he says quietly, though he's not even sure why he's talking, "we still have college teams after this." How lame. Hinata is lame. How the hell is that supposed to cheer anyone up? But Yamaguchi nods and stands, leaving Hinata behind. He walks to Tsukishima, who throws an arm around his broad shoulders. Hinata can see the pain in Tsukishima's face.

"Can you stand?" Kageyama asks, looming over him as-per-usual. Hinata can't speak anymore, not that he would ever admit out loud what he's going to say. He shakes his head. His legs won't move anymore. Kageyama was switches out once during this match, but Hinata never was. Like it made any difference. Hinata seriously doubt he would've been much good if he's rested anyhow.

Kageyama grunts softly when he picks Hinata off the floor, helping him stumble towards the bench. Kageyama may be able to mask it somewhat, but Hinata can tell he doesn't even want to see him now. Kageyama averts his gaze, looking determinedly at Coach.

That's the thing about finals. There's no formalities, no bows. Players usually can't move, no matter how great their stamina is, after a match.

Hinata drinks the remainder of his water in great gulps, but then throws the bottle against the wall as hard as he can against the wall. It's pointless, really, but Hinata doesn't care.

"You fought well." The left-wing spiker from the other team - was it Lee? - appears beside him, hand extended. Hinata shakes it, begrudgingly. "I've never seen anyone with your stamina."

"Good it did," murmurs Hinata. He won't avert his eyes, but that doesn't mean he has to be straightforward.

"Hey, all regulars on our team were switched at least once," says the spiky-haired guy, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck. "That's why we don't have an ace. We switch too fast." Why is this guy still talking? "Even so, you guys really pushed us to the limit." 

"Yeah." Hinata doesn't know what else to say. Thanks for completely destroying us? Hope you get into your first pick university? He can't stand and move somewhere else, so he just nods his head, like a bow. Luckily Lee isn't stupid, and he takes the hint. When he's gone, Hinata runs his hand through his hair, sighing deeply. 

"Hinata!" Hinata looks up to the stands directly above him. Sugawara. Right. Coach arranged for some of the original team members to get together after the match, to stay for a few days at the training-camp house. Sugawara was one of the few that could actually make it. He's actually smiling, though Hinata can tell, even after two years, what Sugawara's real smile looks like. "Come on! We're going to the changing rooms with you."

Hinata grins, weakly. He's grateful, of course, that Sugawara came to watch, but now he's only disappointed him. 

"Yuuto," he croaks. Dammit! Why can't he just talk normally? Though he supposes he can mask it as fatigue, and not guilt. "Help me up. I can't walk on my own." Yuuto is shaky, and he trembles a little under Hinata's weight. He's taller, naturally, but so is everyone else in the team. "We gotta change before the ceremony," Hinata attempts to say casually. It works well enough. 

"Right." Yuuto pulls Hinata's arm tighter around his shoulder and starts to walk forward. His short pony-tail brushes over Hinata's arm, leaving behind dry trails. He smells like sweat, but Hinata undoubtedly does too. 

Sugawara is waiting for them by the entrance to the court, and he takes Hinata from Yuuto like a rag doll. He hasn't gotten any taller, but something about him is different. His face is still so kind and open, but his eyes aren't sparkling. 

"Christ, Tsukishima!" he exclaims, glancing over Hinata's head. "You're even taller than this summer!" That's true. Tsukishima never stopped growing after first year. By now his King of the Insults is little under two meters - something he never stops reminding Hinata of. Tsukishima just gives a grunt. Classy as always.

"Alright, guys," says Yamaguchi, brushing past Hinata and Sugawara and facing his team. His eyes are rimmed with red, but he's standing tall and proud, like he usually does when he's addressing the team. At first, he would always stammer and falter, but now he acts like a true captain. "I want to talk to all of you after you've changed, so get to it."

There's no shout, no enthusiastic reply. The team is worn down, defeated enough to forget about the formalities of this team, about the spirit. There's a first year, the only one that made regulars this year, head hung low and tears dripping to the floor. Kageyama has his hand on the kid's shoulder, something reassuring he only learned to do this year when that same kid freaked out after two matches.

It's probably wrong to think so, but Hinata feels resentful that his juniors all look about as sad as he feels. They've got another year, at the most, they shouldn't be complaining. But then again, that's not guaranteed. They probably forgot what it's like to lose. Maybe that's why the third-years are holding it together better than all the others. We were defeated so many times in our first year, Hinata thinks bitterly. It was the same with Sugawara and the others. They'd forgotten what it was like to win, so they were really fucking happy when they went to nationals. 

"Tsukishima!" Hinata turns to look down the hall. Ah. Kuroo is running down the hall, his messy black hair flopping along with his giant strides. He ignores the rest of the team and rushes to support Tsukishima, despite the latter's protests. "No, I'm carrying you if you resist any more," says Kuroo, grinning wickedly. Tsukishima huffs in a way that was probably meant to be annoyed, but it's obvious to Hinata that he's grateful to have Kuroo by his side. 

"Oh, no," Kageyama groans from beside Sugawara. Hinata doesn't even have to look to know what he means. Sure enough, a horde of squealing girls rush onto them, swarming mainly around Kageyama and Kuroo, who both unintentionally built a fan-base that rivaled Oikawa's when they decided playing volleyball shirtless at one of the biggest universities was a good idea. Hinata doubts it's only the fact that they were shirtless. Maybe Oikawa's success overshadowed all the other players two years ago.

Besides, Kageyama and Kuroo aren't the lanky and awkward players they used to be. 

"That's the ace?" Hinata hears a girl whisper, somewhere close to him. Of course they wouldn't recognize him, it's not like he didn't just play for two hours in front of them. "He looks so much smaller up close." Hinata pretends he doesn't hear.

"Yeah, another reason why _he_ lost the match." Right, so that's something they can all agree on, then. 

"ALLRIGHT!" A loud voice silences the group of fans immediately, leaving them looking around, stunned. Wait, is that... Sure enough, Asahi and Daichi come shouldering through the crowd. Asahi keeps apologizing - the guy never changes - but Daichi has a look on his face that sends ripples down Hinata's spine. Damn, that guy can really pull off a murderous look. 

The crowd hurries away quickly, leaving the path to the locker clear. Daichi takes Hinata's other arm and slings it over his shoulder. Now he's practically being carried. His feet are barely reaching the ground. 

"Thanks, Daichi," says Sugawara, his voice gently and starkly opposite Daichi's. Daichi nods gravely and tugs Hinata forward, nearly ripping his arm off in the process. 

The locker room stinks like sweat and detergent and plastic, and Hinata grunts as he's put onto the bench without grace. Daichi crouches down in front of Hinata and starts massaging his thighs, digging his fingers into the aching muscle. 

"Ow!" Hinata yelps, gripping the side of the bench until his knuckles turn white. Daichi grins, and starts to work off the sweaty knee-pads that cling to Hinata's skin. His knees are white and sticky, but Daichi doesn't seem to care, because he keeps going without pause, apparently enjoying the torture he's inflicting on Hinata. 

"Ah, you four are here, then," says Coach Ukai, sauntering into the room with his brow pinched together in that familiar frown. "You know, technically, you were never allowed here in the first place," he says, turning to Kuroo, who's busy pouring ice-water over Tsukishima's fingers. 

"I'm not in the way, am I?" asks Kuroo, shrugging lightly. Coach Ukai laughs. 

"Alright, guys," says Yamaguchi, getting to his feet with a certain degree of difficulty, judging by the look of anguish on his face, "I understand that we suffered, this match, but we can't let that get us down. Us third-years may be leaving after this, and we may not even see any of you guys before we leave, but we all want you to carry on and be the best team you can be next year. We've chosen the best captain and manager there are, and I'm absolutely certain that you guys can do this, even without us. Isn't that right, Daichi?" That's a clever move, pulling Daichi into the discussion like this.

"That's right. My team survived after I left - flourished even. You just have to believe that you will." Hinata smirked as he watched awe set into the faces of the first-years. Daichi was familiar to the second-years, having helped them with practice matches a few times, but since he became a regular on his team this year, the first-years had to make do with the stories Hinata told them. And he never held back.

"I'm not going to the ceremony," says Kageyama, after Yamaguchi is done amping up the levels of hope into their gullible teammates. Is this guy for real? Hinata's lip twitches with annoyance. Stupid Kageyama, being selfish as always.

"Yes, you are," says Sugawara deadpan, staring up into Kageyama's eyes unflinchingly. Sugawara is scary when he gets like this - even Daichi is eyeing him nervously. Serves Kageyama right, though. He probably can't stand being on the same stage as Hinata, that's why he wants to skip out. "It's disrespectful not to."

Hinata tunes out the conversation and focuses on Daichi's hands, which are still kneading into his legs. It doesn't hurt as much anymore.

"Are you okay?" asks Daichi quietly. Hinata knows what this is about. He failed out there in the battle. He didn't even get in one miserable spike. He let Kageyama down in the worst way possible, as well as the team. The only points scored were blocks and missteps from the other team. He was absolutely useless.

"Yeah, I think I can stand on my own, now," says Hinata, fully aware that it isn't the answer Daichi was looking for. Hinata can't stand the way Daichi is looking at him - eyes full of pity and... regret?

"Alright, we just need to ice them, okay?" Oh. Hinata's least favorite bit. He's going to be freezing after this. He follows Daichi to the tub of ice-water that was prepared for the team. "Is everyone done with the ice?" asks Daichi over the dull drone of conversation. There's a collective "yeah!", and Hinata tugs off his shirt.

His right shoulder is still quite bruised from last week's match, but the edges are already starting to become greener. Jean, a second-year wing-spiker, had rushed forward and slammed into Hinata on an impulse to get the ball. Jean is practically made of muscle - he's quite the threatening figure on the court - not to mention tallest only second to Tsukishima. When he leaped up and sideways full-force, he'd sent Hinata flying.

Hinata grits his teeth and steps into the tub, his skin immediately crawling and teeth clattering. Daichi rolls up his sleeves and helps Hinata sit, before rubbing ice blocks over his thighs. 

"Just a little longer," Daichi murmurs, watching the timing on his watch. Just one minute. When Hinata is shaking, his entire body trembling against his will, he's allowed to get out of the tub. Daichi throws a towel over him and tosses his clothes next to him. 

"Fifteen more minutes, everyone," says Coach Ukai. 

* * *

Hinata never realized how excruciatingly long award-ceremonies really are. What felt like five minutes in previous years, now feels more like five hours. He's itching to get off the stupid stage and go to the camp-house, and he's not the only one. As soon as the ceremony finally ends, Kageyama is gone, dashing between people to get to the locker room. 

Hinata pretends not to be a little hurt by the fact that Kageyama has chosen to sit on the one-seater of the bus, instead of the bench were they usually sit. Hinata changes his seat in accordance, instead sitting next to Asahi in the front. He doesn't want to force Kageyama to talk to him, because he knows that Kageyama can have some violent outbursts when he's angry at someone. The fact that he's quiet says it all - he's furious. 

Hinata deserves it, of course. All of Kageyama's tosses were perfect. He deserves a better spiker. 

The ride home is uncomfortable at best. The awkward silence that fills the bus is deafening, only interrupted by a few sniffles from the first-year who was crying before. Most of the team falls asleep, but not Hinata. 

It's really over. His final match in high-school was a failure. He's not even sure he's gotten into any of the universities he applied for, and volleyball was likely the only means of consideration for the schools. His grades aren't as terrible as they were, but they're still not good enough. If this match would determine his future, then he's done for. 

But not only did he ruin it for himself. He ruined it for Kageyama, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi as well. Tsukishima is smart, so he might just make it on his own, but if he wants to continue volleyball, he's going to struggle. Same goes for Yamaguchi. Kageyama has had a legendary reputation since junior-high, so he'll likely be fine, even if he's not going to be regular right off the bat. 

"Tanaka is the only other person who could make it," says Asahi after they dropped the first and second years off at the school. Coach Ukai is going to talk to them, brief them about next year, before joining the others at the camp-house. The sky is rapidly darkening outside, and Sugawara and Daichi are asleep. "All the others are right in the middle of studying for exams."

"Don't you have exams?" asks Hinata, rubbing his eyes sleepily. God, he's tired. 

"First-year uni students have them earlier than the rest of us. Tanaka is just great at procrastinating." Hinata laughs. Yeah, that does sound like that guy. But so is Nishinoya. "Noya was made libero in his first year, so he's busier than the rest of us." Of course. Nishinoya is the Guardian Deity, after all. 

Even though Hinata can walk on his own, getting up the stairs proves difficult, and he's slowing all the others down with him. But, it's not like he's been doing anything else today. 

After dinner, which is full of swapping stories and recalling embarrassing moments, Hinata can feel some of the weight being lifted off his shoulders. He feels lighter, even if it's just slightly. Showering helps too, because the hot stream relaxes his muscles to the point where he has to steady himself against the wall.

"You really haven't grown at all!" laughs Tanaka when they're setting up the beds, clapping Hinata on the back. Ow, ow, ow. That really hurts.

"I actually did!" yelps Hinata indignantly. "You just can't tell because you're blinder than a... than a-"

"Than a what?" says Tanaka, smirking devilishly. Oh, come on! Hinata sucks at insults.

"Than someone who is legally blind." Tanaka burst out laughing, doubling over and wheezing exaggeratedly. So extra. Though Hinata believes he probably deserves that. Sugawara and Daichi are snickering behind their hands, while Asahi bites his fist. Tsukishima asks what was said, and joins Tanaka in laughing. 

Once they've all calmed down, and Coach Ukai tells them to start to settle in, Hinata is left elated and searching for a bed not next to Kageyama. There are none. 

"Hinata," Kageyama says when Hinata hesitates by the bed. He doesn't want to trouble Kageyama or force him to even look at him, so he turns and walks towards the door. Dammit. Leave it to fucking Kageyama to ruin the mood. Though it's never his fault. "I'm sorry." Hinata halts and turns. Kageyama is on his knees, face to the floor. He's... bowing? 

"Kageyama... what are you-?" Hinata starts. What the hell does this guy think he's doing. Does he really need Hinata to feel worse? This is cruel, even for Kageyama. 

"It's my fault we lost the match," croaks Kageyama. Oh. So Kageyama had his hopes high enough for Hinata to be in denial now. That's even worse. "I couldn't get any of the tosses to be any good. None of them scored you any points." He's... crying. Thick tears darken the sheets under Kageyama's face. This guy is a real dumbass. 

Hinata charges forward and drops to his knees in front of Kageyama, not caring about the stares he's getting from the others, though he knows they're not judging him. Not even Tsukishima or Kuroo look like they're about to make some snarky comment. 

"You idiot!" Hinata says, pushing weakly against Kageyama's shoulder. His voice grows thick in his throat, his hands tremble and his chest aches. Why can't they just admit it's all his fault. "Your tosses were all perfect!" Now he's crying, too. His face is wet, anyway. "I couldn't get any of them over," he sobs. "That's not you job! Your job is to make sure I can do it perfectly, but it was me that failed!" Dammit, Kageyama, just stop it. 

Kageyama just shakes his head and shuffles forward, burying his face in Hinata's lap. The room is quiet.

Hinata has never seen Kageyama cry. He's seen him at his lowest moments, becoming quiet and not fighting back when Hinata punches him. He always thought that that was Kageyama's true guilt, the defeat that gave him nightmares for days. But this, ugly sobs as Hinata bends over and hugs Kageyama's back awkwardly, this is terrifying. 

But it's also so, so stupid. So, after Kageyama has calmed down a little, and the redness on his face has settled in, Hinata pushes him up, not caring if he hurt him. It wasn't Kageyama's selfish fault, and so he shouldn't worry. 

"This was neither our faults," says Hinata, trying to sound as much like Daichi or Yamaguchi as he can. "The other team had players that were all just as tall as Tsukishima, and a spiker better than anyone I've ever seen." That part isn't true, but as long as he makes it sound good, it'll work. "Their defense was like all of them were giant Nishinoya's, and there's nobody who can get past him." 

Kageyama huffs, but he wipes his hand across his face. Good. Hinata slaps him across the face, lightly, in order to get his message across. 

"Dumbass," Kageyama croaks, smiling a little. He'll be allright. 

"Yes, yes," says Tanaka, tackling them both to the ground. Hinata groans, but he's grateful for the interruption. He's not sure his heart could take more insults from Kageyama. Though none were exactly insults, it hurt him when Kageyama said it was all his fault. Because it really was quite the opposite. 

Kuroo, who's surprisingly good at reading emotions, drags Sugawara and crashes on top of Tanaka, completely crushing Hinata and Kageyama. 

"Stop! Stop!" giggles Hinata, struggling beneath all their weight. "I can't breathe!" But then more weight gets added, and Hinata is certain he's got the entire group on top of him now. He wheezes and laughs, all the tension seeping away from him.

You better be laughing, dumbass Kageyama. 


	2. Chapter 2

When the game was lost, Kageyama was mostly just worried what the team would think of him. He wasn't sure what made them lose, but since none of Hinata's spikes were going through, it must've been his tosses. He was worried the team would blame him, so the best solution was to assume that it really was his fault.

When Hinata told him it wasn't, he felt relieved. Maybe the blocks and the receives really were just too powerful and too good for anyone to get through. After all, their libero was set to win the award that Nishinoya had received before. Their own libero was somewhat inexperienced, having been in the same position Daichi used to take before. Kageyama has come to the conclusion that they were just horribly outmatched, and that the only thing they could do about it was to train harder for university. Not like he wasn't planning on doing so already.

The days at the camp-house pass smoothly and without any more outbursts like on the first day. Despite having walked in on both Tsukishima and Kuroo and Sugawara and Daichi making out in an empty room on the same day, Kageyama felt relatively happy. That is, until he noticed Hinata not smiling when he thinks no-one is watching.

That's the thing with that dumbass; he pretends everything is okay until it's not. Kageyama has tried confronting him about it, but he's only met with hysterical laughter. Whenever he's tried to talk to any of the other's about it, they'd given him some vague answer.

Yeah, they're definitely hiding something.

"Since when do so many girls like you, Kage?" Tanaka has a hold of his phone, and is flicking over the messages on the lock-screen. Half of them are unopened messages from girls he doesn't know - he's been getting them for a year now. They're inside in the common-area, lounging in the beanbags or sprawled over the floor, having lazy conversations about nothing in particular or playing cards.

"Isn't that obvious?" purrs Kuroo as he flicks his fingers through Tsukishima's hair. Tsukishima swats his hand away like it's an annoying fly.

"Umm... No?" says Yamaguchi, lifting his head from Yachi's lap.

"You wouldn't understand, 'Guchi," snickers Sugawara, not looking up from his game of poker against Asahi. Yamaguchi looks around bewildered, his expression not very far from Yachi's and Tanaka's. "But I thought you would, Yachi?" Kageyama can't see Hinata's face, but it's probably confused, too.

"I mean, I kind of do..." she replies shyly, blush creeping over her ears. "But being with Yamaguchi is still pretty new to me." Ah, yes. Everybody always thought Yachi was only into girls, but as she stated bravely last year, she likes girls only a little more than boys.

"Will someone explain it to me?" yelps Tanaka, prodding Daichi with his legs.

"Tanaka, my bud," says Kuroo, evil smirk playing on his lips, "Kageyama is turning out nearly hotter than Oikawa." Oh. That's high praise, coming from one of Oikawa's teammates. Kuroo and Oikawa joined the same university, and according to Daichi, they're nearly impossible to beat when they work together. Still, the compliment makes Kageyama's face feel hot.

"You gotta be kidding me!" laughs Tanaka. Kageyama joins him, though nervously, as Kuroo and Sugawara give him incredibly sly looks that make him uncomfortable. "I mean, I knew Oikawa is good-looking, but this kid?" Tanaka bursts out laughing again, this time joined by Yachi, who laughs whenever someone else does.

"You guys are dumbasses," murmurs Kageyama, adjusting his shirt so it doesn't flop sideways.

"And after three years of knowing me, you still haven't managed to expand your vocabulary..." says Tsukishima, grinning like a wolf, "how disappointing." Kageyama decides the best thing to do is to flip the guy off, rewarded by the laughter he gets from Kuroo. He looks around, searching for another smile. When he can't find it, worry pangs in his chest.

"Hey, where's Hinata?" he asks, eyes nearly frantically scanning the room. He pretends not to notice the shift in the room, how tense everyone suddenly becomes. They're good at hiding it, except maybe Yachi and Tanaka, but Kageyama always has been observant.

"He's probably out running again," says Sugawara nonchalantly, only glancing up from his cards for a second. That one second is enough. Something is going on, but they don't want him to worry about it, so it's probably not too serious... right?

"Running?"

"Yeah, he usually does it really early, but today he overslept," says Daichi, though a little hastily. He's not as good at lying as Sugawara is. "He didn't want to miss breakfast, so he's running before lunch."

"Oh," says Kageyama, not really knowing how he's supposed to respond to that, or the fact that Asahi just managed to slip away while Kageyama wasn't looking.

"Annyywayyy," attempts Tanaka, obviously trying to change the subject. He's always been terrible at hiding things - even more so than Hinata, "Kuroo, how's Bokuto doing?"

All the captains and several other third-years from two years ago have all gone to a university cluster in Tokyo. They see eachother often, according to Daichi, who's roommate is Oikawa.

"You should probably ask Sugawara, since they're on the same team," says Daichi, his eyes growing dark and mysterious.

Sugawara groans. "No offense, Kuroo, but Bokuto sure is a handful."

Kuroo laughs. The tension from earlier has all but dissipated, and everyone has returned to whatever they were doing before. They can't fool Kageyama, but he supposes it's better not to dwell on it.

"You should be glad Kuroo's not on the team with you," says Tsukishima. "They don't stop yelling at eachother - ever. The only one who could ever hope to control both of them is Akaashi."

That's probably true. Bokuto was scary when he was alone, but according to Tsukishima, Kuroo only amplifies his hype. It's kind of weird, seeing as Kuroo is always quite calm around everyone else.

With a sudden and inexplicable urge Kageyama stands and excuses himself to go to the bathroom. He doesn't actually have to go, but something is telling him to take the indirect route and move through the North corridor. He lightens his steps and doesn't dare to breathe.

Sure enough, after roaming the hall for a few seconds, he hears a voice echoing by the bathrooms.

"-have more experience with this sort of stuff." It's Asahi, on the phone with someone. His voice is hushed, as if he doesn't want anyone to hear him. It only prickles Kageyama's interest more. "No, he's no good at talking, it's gotta be you." Who the hell is he talking to? "Thanks, man. See ya around."

Oh, shit, he's coming back this way. Kageyama ducks into one of the empty rooms, which just so happens to be the one where he got scarred for life twice. Kageyama holds his breath until Asashi's footsteps fade, sighing deeply when he hears the others greeting him.

What is Asahi up to? Who was he talking to? Something is definetly up with him, though Kageyama has no idea what it could possibly be. Does it have anything to do with his anxiety? No, Asahi is pretty open about that sort of stuff, so he wouldn't be so secretive about it. It's unlikely to be about volleyball, too, seeing as he's spent the past few days with a group full of near-professionals.

Loud laughter bubbles up from the commons-room, and Kageyama decides it's a good time to go back.

To his surprise, Hinata has taken his seat next to Tanaka, and is laughing along with some stupid joke. His smile doesn't fade in the slightest when he spots Kageyama, but it changes in a different way. It's interesting, yet unsettling. His hair is wet - he must've showered before coming here - and it's flatter than usual. His shirt is too big, so Kageyama suspects he might've stolen it from someone. That's a weird trait he discovered in their second year, that Hinata likes to wear other people's clothes, especially if said someone is bigger than he is. Kageyama knows Hinata's mother doesn't let him buy anything oversized, probably because it makes him look even smaller.

To be honest, the sight of what looks like his Japan national team volleyball shirt on Hinata is surprisingly endearing, especially since the shirt nearly is like a dress on him. It's covers his shorts, too, so it nearly looks like he's not wearing pants...

"I was sitting there, dumbass," Kageyama growls at him. Hinata just sticks his tongue out at him. Tanaka laughs.

Kageyama notices Asahi whispering quietly to Daichi, and he just barely picks up the conversation.

"-yeah, after dinner." So, Daichi is in on whatever Asahi is planning. Something is going to happen after dinner, and Kageyama is scared to find out what it is.

The rest of the day is spent playing mini-matches and racing to the pool at the end of the road. Water-volleyball is apperently difficult for Hinata, because Kuroo has him on his shoulders in no-time. They're nearly unbeatable, even if they fall over every time they attempt to spike.

It's stuff like this that makes Kageyama forget about the match completely, and he's grateful. If the entire team and a few other people had been here it would've been perfect, but he supposes he'll see most of them in college anyway. He still can't comprehend the fact that all the captains from his first-year pool have become a friend-group all on their own, but then again, they all live on the same apartment-floor. And their respective partners, too. After all, most setters or spiders have a favorite teammate.

He wonders if he and Hinata could be as close to the others when they join university. He has no doubt Hinata got into all the ones he applied to, and frankly speaking, he'd be surprised if he got rejected, too. After all, he didn't apply to any top-schools like the one Ushijima went to. He just hopes there won't be anyone else who can handle his spikes, though he knows he's being selfish to think so.

After dinner, everyone but Asahi and Daichi are surprised when the doorbell rings.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Kuroo asks, though not unkindly.

"Nice to see you too, Kuroo," Oikawa says, raising an eyebrow amusedly. Was this the guy Asahi was talking to on the phone? Oikawa doesn't have any expertise that none the others here have, except maybe setting, but Kageyama likes to think he started to catch up to his former teacher. "Who-ho-ho, Tobio!" he exclaims, clapping Kageyama on his shoulder. The idiot has been hanging around Kuroo and Bokuto too much.

Kageyama pouts and rubs his shoulder, a dull ache left where Oikawa's hard hand hit him. "I told you to stop calling me that," he grumbles. He hates his first name - it's so childish. Tobio sounds like something only a four-year old would really like. Oikawa just laughs.

"I knew there were people who actually liked you, but I never thought it was because of this!" He gestures to the entirety of Kageyama's body, a strange look of glee creeping over his face. "Kuroo! Why didn't you tell me?!" Oikawa yells indignantly.

"What are you on about?" Kageyama asks, annoyance bubbling up in his head. Man, this guy never really calms down, does he. He might be deadly quiet on the court, but normally he's nearly as bad as Hinata. He's like Nishinoya, in that way.

"You got hot!" Oh, right, that. Blood rushes to Kageyama's ears and he can't bring himself to look at Oikawa anymore.

"OIKAWA!" A feral shout erupts from the back of the crowd that's gathered at the door, and Kageyama has to jump out of the way to avoid being pummeled by Hinata. He's jumped up and around Oikawa, clinging to his back and laughing shamelessly.

"Shrimp!" Oikawa laughs, walking into the house like he's been invited in. Oikawa and Hinata got close after Oikawa graduated, probably because they both like to talk shit about Kageyama and can keep up with the eccentricity of Bokuto. "Tobio, get my stuff upstairs. Me and shrimpy are gonna take a walk." With that, Oikawa promptly turns and walks out, but not before Kageyama can kick his shins. He also notices the look Oikawa shares with Daichi, but he decides it's just acknowledgment.

After all, Daichi knows Oikawa better than anyone these days.

"Oi!" Coach Ukai shouts from the kitchen. "Make your room ready before you want to do anything else today!" Kageyama groans and hoists Oikawa's bag onto his shoulder, grumbling to Tanaka about slavery. Tanaka dutifully nods, but Kageyama can see him trembling to keep from laughing.

Once they're done with preparing everyone's beds, they head downstairs into the common-room. Kageyama decides he needs to ask some questions, and that Asahi is more likely to reveal something. He can see Asahi stiffen when he sits next to him, but he pretends not to notice.

"Why did you ask him to come?" Kageyama asks. He hasn't got time for bullshit - or rather, doesn't want to deal with it. To his surprise, Asahi just sighs deeply. He's incredibly calm. Rain has started to pour outside, filling the room with the dull drone of water hitting the roof.

"Daichi and I decided it was a good idea to keep him in mind as soon as we lost the match." Kageyama is surprised Asahi still refers to Karasuno as 'we', because it's been two years. "Sugawara wanted to call him right after that first night, when that... happened." Kageyama blushes. It's probably one of the most emberassing things he's ever done, crying like an infant in Hinata's lap. "Oikawa wasn't even our first choice. We wanted Ushijima for this, but that guy's too busy and a bit a terrible talker."

"You're avoiding my question, Asahi," says Kageyama.

"Right, sorry," says Asahi embarrassedly, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. "Anyways, Daichi wanted to wait and see. At first, he thought everything was fine, but Sugawara knew everything was only getting worse-"

"Asahi, what are you saying?" Kageyama has a vague idea, but he brushes it aside immediately. He does not want to think about that right now.

"H-Hinata..." Red blossoms over Asahi's cheeks as the rest of him turns pale, like his body does when he's nervous. "Hinata hasn't-"

They're interrupted by a loud crashing noise from the front door, and Kageyama dashes after Kuroo towards it. He nearly crashes into him when Kuroo suddenly stops, and he has to step around him to see what's going on. He gasps.

Oikawa kicks the door shut with his foot, before walking briskly towards the stairs, his shoes squeaking over the tiles. In his arms he cradles a bundle, which is covered up with his own jacket. He clutches it closer when he spots the others standing in the hall, a wild and dangerous look in his eye. He's shivering, teeth clattering as he actually _bares_ them. 

"Everyone stay here!" he bellows, his position as captain becoming obvious with the commanding tone. What's that bundle? Kageyama's heart drops when he realizes. He couldn't tell, because he's drenched and his hair is mostly hidden under Oikawa's jacket, but it's definetly him.

Hinata is clutching his shirt, right over his heart. His eyes are screwed shut as he gasps for breath. No, you couldn't call it breaths. They're more like chokes, horrible gags. His face is pressed to Oikawa's chest as he bounds up the stairs effortlessly. He's in pain, dammit!

Kageyama surges forward before any thought really crosses his mind, but he's held back two strong arms locking over and under his shoulders.

"No! Kageyama!" Asahi says more firmly than anything he's ever said before. No, but he's got to help Hinata! What's wrong with him! "You'll only make it worse!"

What the hell did Oikawa do to him? If Hinata is hurt in any way, Oikawa, you'll never make it out alive.

"Let me go!" Kageyama yells, pushing away from Asahi with all his might. Come on, he got so much stronger after first-year. But so did, Asahi, and he overpowers Kageyama easily, especially when Daichi steps in to help him. "Let me see him!"

"Listen to me!" Asahi bellows with such force that Kageyama is shocked into silence. Since when is this asshole so aggressive? He's towering over Kageyama, despite not being that much taller. The fury in his eyes sends shivers down Kageyama's spine, and his grip on his shoulders is starting to hurt... a lot. "What you just saw was a fucking panic attack. I've had those myself and I'm telling you, you will make it worse if you go in there right now!"

Kageyama whimpers quietly without really meaning to. He stops struggling, but the absolute heat that's bubbling in his veins only builds and builds.

He's going to kill either Oikawa or Hinata.


	3. Chapter 3

When Oikawa comes down thirty minutes later, only sections of his clothes have dried. There's a diagonal line of wetness that cuts across his torso and down to his shorts. 

Hinata.

Oikawa dodges Kageyama as soon as he lunges, stepping aside to avoid being grabbed by the shirt. Asahi and Daichi grab hold of Kageyama immediately, but he shrugs them off, reassuring them he won't attack again. The anger he feels is not for Oikawa, that much is certain. It's for someone else, though he can't pinpoint who it is. 

"I see you've calmed down, Tobio," says Oikawa, his usual purr hinting at exhaustion. His usually perfect hair is a mess on top his head, the ends drooping down with the weight of the water. He does look strangely relieved, but Kageyama can't tell why. 

"How is he?" Asahi asks, nervously fidgeting with the hem of his shirt and shifting his feet. 

"He calmed down pretty quickly, but he asked me to stay with him a little longer," says Oikawa, shrugging a little. He's shaken, alright. It's rare for Oikawa to lose his composure, and today is no different. Still, his shoulders are tense, and though he plays it casual, his jaw is set and his movements jittery.   

"What happened?" Kageyama hisses through clenched teeth. He digs his nails into his palm and waits for the answer he's been suspecting for some time. If he's right, that means that this is all- Stop it, Kageyama, he chides himself. There's no way Hinata could let that happen. He's stronger than that. 

"Are you really that blind, Tobio?" Oikawa isn't ridiculing him, but there's a vague tint to his voice that's bordering on concern. That makes it so much worse. "That kid broke." Kageyama frowns, not exactly understanding what Oikawa is getting at. "Asahi told me you broke down right after the match, right?"

"Yes." It's still painful to admit, but it might be important right now. 

"Well, Hinata probably blames himself more than anyone for losing the match, and the stress of keeping that from you proved too much for him." A chill settles on Kageyama's stomach, his heart stutters and his thoughts turn to a numb mush. 

Kageyama feels Daichi's hand on his shoulder, but he shrugs him off. He clenches his fists. That fucking dumbass... 

Ignoring Asahi's earlier warnings Kageyama dashes for the stairs. Luckily, whoever wants to chase after him are stopped by Oikawa, for whatever reason. It doesn't matter now. 

That's right, he's angry at Hinata. 

Hinata sits cross-legged on the floor, with his back to Kageyama. He whirls around when he hears him enter the room, his blood-shot eyes widening as soon as they fix on Kageyama. Oh, you better be scared. 

Kageyama wastes no time and surges forward, grabbing Hinata by the front of the shirt and dragging him to the wall. Hinata doesn't even struggle, just gasps a little. Pinned between Kageyama's boiling body and the wall, there's no way he can escape. It's infuriating that Hinata doesn't even make a move to fight back. He just hangs there, limp against Kageyama's arm, like a coward. 

"What are y-" Hinata attempts to say. His voice is abnormally high. He's scared. 

"What the fuck, Hinata?!" Spit flies from Kageyama's lips onto Hinata's face, and he flinches, eyes squinted as he looks up at his setter. "You told me you were fine! You said it wasn't our fault!" All Kageyama wants to do is punch Hinata, but all he can do is shove him against the wall again. The flash of pain in Hinata's eyes is oddly dissatisfying. 

"Because it wasn't!" Hinata shrieks, clawing at Kageyama's arm, which is snug across his collarbone. "It was _my_ fault, not yours!" So, that's what this kid thinks. "It was my bloody fault and you know it! All your tosses were perfect, but I couldn't get a single one in!" Tears well up in Hinata's eyes, and Kageyama shoves him again. This time Hinata cries out, just a little. 

"You are so full of shit!" Kageyama lifts his arm higher, taking Hinata with him until he's on his tip-toes. The inexplicable rage that he feels is definitely towards Hinata, but it blocks out every other thought. It doesn't matter. Hinata deserves this for being such a dumbass. 

"Kage..." Hinata struggles to say. Kageyama only presses forward. His heart is pounding, his hands balled into fists, his vision clouded with red. God, why does this whole thing make him so pissed? He honest-to-god thought Hinata was smarter than this. 

Suddenly he's being thrown back, landing on his ass, hard. In front of him looms Daichi, murder in his eyes and fist drawn back. Next to him appears Sugawara, angrier than Kageyama has ever seen him, yet still stopping Daichi with one arm. Hinata drops to his knees, spluttering and coughing. Asahi rushes to his side, rubbing his back and throwing a protective arm over him. Tanaka stands over Yachi, who's started to sob quietly by the door. 

"Not again, not again," she whimpers softly. 

But they don't scare him. No matter hit threatening his former teammates may look, it's nothing compared to the deathly silence of his captain. Yamaguchi doesn't look particularly angry, but Kageyama gets the message. 

 _One more move and you're dead_.

Kageyama shivers. 

"Kageyama!" Kuroo roars, rushing forward with his hands balled into fists. Surprisingly, it's Tsukishima who stops him, blocking his path to Kageyama with his own body. Kuroo struggles, and he's stronger than Tsukishima, but Kuroo would never hurt him, so Tsukishima has the upper hand. Kuroo tries to claw at Kageyama's face, kicks, shoves Tsukishima. 

Oikawa pulls Kageyama to his feet, roughly. 

"You're lucky Bo isn't here, or you'd be dead!" Kuroo growls, eyebrows pinched together and teeth bared. Kageyama suppresses another shiver. Bokuto is probably the single most protective person of Hinata, along with Aone, and he is much more aggressive than anyone Kageyama has ever met. Kuroo and Bokuto are unpredictable as hell, and to see one of them this enraged is equally terrifying to Yamaguchi. 

"Calm down, Kuroo!" Tsukishima hisses through gritted teeth. 

"Come on, Tobio," says Oikawa tugging Kageyama by his arm toward the door.

"Why would you say you're fine?!" Kageyama needs one more answer, one loose end tied. Hinata struggles to his feet, and pushes past Asahi. He's angry, too. His brow is pinched together and he has that detached look on his face - the calm before the storm. 

"Because, _you_ weren't!" Hinata yells with such force everyone stops their struggling to stare at him. "I just didn't want... you to worry." 

Kageyama stills against Oikawa's grip. Guilt and shame wash over him like a tidal wave, and he clenches his fists, but this time not in order to refrain from punching anyone. His throat grows thick and he shakes his head. Dumbass Hinata. Only Hinata could ever make him this angry.

"You're such an idiot..." he says before he lets Oikawa drag him out of the room. His mind turns blank and his legs grow weak, but Oikawa is persistent enough to keep him on his feet. He's dragged over the little hill behind the house. The rain has stopped. 

He struggles, stumbles, nearly falls flat on his face going down the hill, but Oikawa steadies him every time. Once they reached the bottom, Kageyama sinks to the floor and draws his knees to his chest. He's been such an idiot. Hinata was pushed into panic because Kageyama was a blind dumbass... 

"You know, I don't think Daichi asked me to come because I know what it's like to lose..." says Oikawa, plopping on the floor next to him. Kageyama only grunts and rests his head on his arms, not wanting Oikawa to study him right now. "I don't like you, Tobio. I don't even care that you're pretty. To be honest, I really wanted to murder you when I saw you threatening Hinata like that." Jeez, Oikawa sure is great at cheering people up. "However, I do know how you're feeling right now."

"You do?" Kageyama asks without looking up. He's genuinely curious, but he seriously doubts Oikawa knows what he feels like. It's always Kageyama's fault Hinata gets hurt. That idiot may do some stupid shit on his own, but the only times he's really been down were Kageyama's doing. It tears a hole in his chest, knowing he's bringing one of his only friends down like this. 

"I had a girlfriend once, who's smile could literally light up whichever room she was in." Oikawa sighs. Kageyama glances at him through a hole between his arm and his leg. "She was with me before I became captain, and her smile really changed once I got number one. She was super beautiful, like me, and everyone loved her. I like to think that if we'd stayed together we'd have been a power item, 'cause I was ugly back then. But then again, I don't think I really would really like her all that much, now."

"Where are you going with this?" Kageyama really doesn't want some sob story right now. If Oikawa could just leave him alone...

"Right, I'd been trying to spend some time with her and also be a good captain, to the point where my performance in battle kind of... lessened." Oikawa isn't good with words, either, it seems. "She blamed herself and ultimately ended up breaking up with me, but not before her own grades started to fail and all that good stuff."  Kageyama really isn't sure what Oikawa is trying to say. He's sure Oikawa's teammates could understand him, but they've always been a close-knit group. 

"So... you're saying I should... distance myself from Hinata?" Kageyama looks up to find Oikawa looking at him with a concerned eyebrow raised. No, not concerned - dumbfounded. 

"Boy, I'm really no good at giving relationship advice," he sighs. He laughs, throwing his head back and running a hand through the hair Kageyama has always been jealous of. But, relationship advice is something you give to people who are romantically involved. Hinata and him aren't... like that. "Nah, it was just a bad story. I'm telling you, give him time. Talk to him. Don't be fucking oblivious. He's probably already realized that not telling you about the blame thing was a mistake, now make him see you care more about him than fucking nationals, even if it's just a lie." 

Kageyama looks at Oikawa with wide eyes. Since when did this guy get so good with feelings? The boy he used to know only cared about himself, or how he could use others on the court. But the Oikawa he's looking at now has a genuine look of regret on his face, and Kageyama is beginning to doubt that it was just some girl Oikawa nearly broke, and that it happened nearly four years ago. 

"What were the two of you talking about?" 

"The match. Daichi was worried Hinata would follow Asahi's example and quit, but he didn't think any of you were up to the job of telling that kid anything. He just thought I should tell him about losing when everyone expects him to win. To be honest, Ushijima would be better for that job, but he's shit at talking. Plus, isn't he in Europe?"

Kageyama just stares. It's truly amazing how this guy can go from wise, old senpai to some pretty-boy with a Kuroo and Bokuto-like mindset. He can't tell if that means Oikawa is an idiot or an insane genius. Still, the fact that even talking about the match drove Hinata to panic is scary. Oikawa can't be blamed, but Kageyama can. His chest is icy. Hinata probably never wants to talk to him again, and he's probably right to do so. As much as it hurts, Kageyama can't force Hinata to forgive him.

He certainly knows he won't forgive himself.  

"Ahem." Kageyama whirls around and spots Tsukishima, towering over them and adjusting his glasses. "Can I talk to Kageyama, Oikawa?" Oikawa grunts as he pushes himself off the grass and starts jogging up the hill, clapping Tsukishima on the shoulder as he passes. 

Kageyama turns to watch the cars pass in the distance, listening to Tsukishima take Oikawa's place. Please, he just really needs to be left alone. He deserves to be alone. 

"That was stupid, even by your standards," sighs Tsukishima, not refraining as per usual. "Really, I thought you were going to kill Hinata right there, King." Kageyama doesn't even flinch at the nickname anymore - not from Tsukishima. But something about it makes it so much more horrible, today. It's not like he's saying it as a mockery anymore, but as a genuine title. 

"Then why didn't you let your boyfriend go?" Kageyama spits. Tears prickle in his eyes. For some reason, Tsukishima is the last person he could take insults from right now. He knows he messed up, but to have Tsukishima point it all out makes it worse. It's all too much. He knows Hinata is hurting in there, too - and he wants nothing more than to run over there and beg for forgiveness. He'll apologize, and make Hinata see he's more important than volleyball, just like Oikawa said. But he can't. He doesn't want to lie to Hinata anymore. He'll only make things worse, because when has he ever made anything better for Hinata?

"Do you remember why I used to call you 'King', in our first year, King?" Tsukishima, shut up! Kageyama nods, his body shuddering while he attempts to keep the water in his eyes from flowing over. 

Tsukishima used to call him King, in their first year, because Kageyama had been the cause of everyone's pain on his previous team. He made everyone hate him by laying the blame on other for his own mistakes. Kageyama tried to change, but apparently he's still the same. 

"Well that's not true anymore," says Tsukishima, again sighing deeply and shuffling a little. "You worry about your teammates and your own faults, like a true king." 

"What changed your mind?" Kageyama's voice is croaky, and it doesn't sound right. To be honest, it's quite pathetic. 

"You called Hinata an idiot. You never do that. That's something I've been getting better at, like you, is noticing little things. Expansion of incredibly limited vocabulary is one of them."

Kageyama snorts. This guy doesn't know what he's talking about. He just nearly choked Hinata, and Tsukishima is trying to tell him he's not a tyrannical king anymore. 

"You're wrong." Dammit. Kageyama's voice broke, even slightly. Tsukishima undoubtedly picked up on it, and is likely judging him to hell. His chest is starting to really hurt, and his insides have frozen completely. I'm sorry, Hinata, Kageyama thinks feebly. It's too late. He's done the damage already. He won't ever be able to toss to Hinata again. 

That thought is what nearly breaks him. To never toss to Hinata again is the worst thing that could happen. Nobody has ever been able to do what Hinata can do, and there's nobody who ever will. Kageyama feels like throwing up. 

"I know we hated each other, but we've been through quite a lot together.We're not friends, Kageyama, but we _are_ teammates, so believe it or not, I actually do care if you're miserable or not." Kageyama can't choke back the sob that tears itself from his throat, so he buries his face in his arms. Damn, this is embarrassing. 

His entire body shakes, and gasps rack his chest, so he doesn't notice Tsukishima has his arm around his shoulders until he's being pulled sideways. Pathetic. Now he's bawling in Tsukishima's arms. 

But something about Tsukishima calms him. Maybe it's the way Tsukishima doesn't make a move other than just holding Kageyama, or the way his breathing remains steady the whole time. In any case, he can tell why Kuroo always seems nearly sedated around Tsukishima.

"Come on," Kageyama says after he's decided he's let himself be emberassed enough. He gets to his feet and extends his hand to Tsukishima, but it's not taken. "It's dark out, we should get back."

"Hmpff," says Tsukishima. Yeah right. There's no going back from what you just said, dumbass. "King, don't think this'll change anything between us." 

Kageyama grins. "Understood." He dashes up the hill, wiping the back of his hand over his face and sniffling away the last of his tears. He suddenly feels so light, like he can take on anyone right now. He's going to talk to Hinata, and he's going to clean this entire mess up, for good. 

He barges into the dorms without thinking, and walks in on Daichi in deep conversation with Sugawara and Asahi. Once they spot him, they collectively glare, though none look like they're out to kill him. However, they distract him from Tanaka, who comes flying out of nowhere. Before he knows what's happening, Tanaka's fist has already connected with his stomach. He doubles over wheezing and coughing. 

"Tanaka!" Sugawara yelps before rushing to Kageyama's side, all hate gone from his eyes. 

"I held back," spits Tanaka. "That was from Yachi, by the way." Of course. Yachi was terrified of fights between Hinata and Kageyama ever since that one during first year. Apparently they'd sent her into tears, nearly causing Asahi to panic when he saw her. Another person he should apologize to. 

"No, no," says Kageyama, brushing away Sugawara's attempts to help him, "I deserved that." It hurts, but Kageyama grits his teeth and straightens up. Hinata isn't here, so he's probably downstairs in the common-room. "Where is Hinata?" he asks quietly. None of his stuff is here, and some of the beds have been folded away. 

"We decided it was best for him to sleep in the other room, with Asahi, Oikawa, Kuroo, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima," says Daichi, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrow at Kageyama. It's like he's being scolded like a child. "For both your safeties." There it is. Hinata always has been the most protected member of the team, at least before he became a third-year. Maybe it's because he's so small, but likely because he always gets himself into stupid shit and needs help getting out. 

"Stop it, Daichi!" says Sugawara, throwing Kageyama worried glances. It's hard to tell whether he's nervous because he thinks Kageyama might burst into tears or start throwing punches. It's all quite amusing, and Kageyama nearly laughs. God, he's so messed up. 

"Oi," Tsukishima's head appears in the doorway, eyes fixed on Asahi. "Ace-Jesus, we're waiting on you." Tanaka bursts out laughing first, before he's joined by Sugawara. Tsukishima huffs and leaves the room, but not before flipping off everyone present. 

"Ace-Jesus!" wheezes Tanaka, doubling over and using the floor to steady himself, as Asahi reluctantly pushes himself off the floor. Asahi pouts, but the corners of his mouth tug up. Even Daichi is smiling. Kageyama supposes it's a funny nickname, but laughing seems impossible at the moment. 

He sighs and pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it in the general direction of his bag. He doesn't really care if he makes the shot. Sugawara makes room for him, shifting his legs so that they're no longer resting on Kageyama's bed. The sheets are warm, and the weight of the blankets comforting. Tanaka runs to turn off the lights as soon as everyone has settled in.

A sharp pain erupts in Kageyama's foot as something rams against it, and a flurry of curses shower over him. Tanaka apologizes, though never ceasing the swearing, and treads more carefully to his bed. Kageyama murmurs nothing in particular and lies on his back, hands tucked under his pillow. 

Hinata plagues his dreams, running from him, beaten and bloodied, to a tall stranger without a face. Hinata throws himself at the stranger, hiding himself in his arms, away from Kageyama. But then the face-less stranger sets a ball, and Hinata spikes it with deadlier force he would've ever achieved with Kageyama. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JACKETS

Hinata wakes in a circle of bodies. There's Oikawa nearly clinging to him, Kuroo right over his head, Asahi curled around his arm... somehow, Yamaguchi is by his feat, and next to Kuroo is Tsukishima. Figures. Even in their sleep, they're protective over him. Hinata didn't notice in his first year, and in his second year he really didn't mind all that much. But now it's really starting to get on his nerves. He'll be going to college soon, and he can't rely on these guys forever. If he gets into his first choice, he'll probably be living close to all of them, though. 

He carefully pulls his arm from Asahi's grasp and sits up, shivering as the cold, morning air hits his bare chest. He took it off somewhere around three A.M. because it was just too damn hot in the room, but now he's blindly grasping for it. Light shines weakly through the shades, but it's not enough to see. Hinata sighs and decides it's futile. As quietly as he can, he steps towards the door, careful not to tread on Yamaguchi. 

Hinata sighs when he's out of the stuffy room, and his lungs fill with fresh air. It's probably too early for anyone else to be awake, so he decides to go out to the park. He still needs to clear his head a little - figure out what he's going to say. 

The house is calm. Everything that happened yesterday seems forgotten along with consciousness. 

Good. 

Hinata's footsteps make no sound as he makes his way downstairs, through the halls and towards the door. He picks up his shoes and opens the door slowly, cringing when it creaks loudly. Thankfully he doesn't need to open it very far. A painfully small figure is useful in times like these. Hinata lets go a breath only when he's turned the corner on the block. He doesn't really understand why he's so tense, but he really can't handle anyone with him right now. 

He barely notices the trees and the fields of the park, not even as he walks into one of the giant oaks. He finds a bench and sits, drawing his knees up to his chest. Shivers. He really should've put on a shirt. 

Yesterday. Kageyama. Yesterday.

Hinata had realized his mistake as soon as Oikawa started talking about the match, and about losing. Hinata couldn't even hear what Oikawa said. His hammering heart had drowned out all noise that could possibly reach his ears, and his clouding eyes couldn't see Oikawa anymore. 

"I know how you feel about him, Hinata," Oikawa had said, "but you can't just keep this sort of stuff from him. Even if knowing hurts him." Hinata can't really recall what happened next, but he remembers it perfectly, if that makes any sense.

His chest crumbled in on itself - collapsed. He couldn't breathe. He choked on nothing and everything at the same time. Oikawa was shocked, carried him back. Hinata practically begged him to stay. He felt a little safer with Oikawa - the only one who knew. Oikawa let him calm down in his arms. Hinata won't ever be able to repay that debt. 

But then he left, and Kageyama came upstairs. Oh, how hurt he looked. This was worse than losing. This was worse than failing as an ace. Hinata felt broken when he realized his team couldn't rely on him anymore, but he was absolutely _shattered_ when Kageyama screamed at him. He deserved it, obviously, but that didn't make it any less painful. 

"I'm going to kill that motherfucker," Kuroo had seethes as soon as Tsukishima had left the room. He'd already nearly kicked through the wall, and then he paced through the room like an caged tiger. 

"Yeah," sighed Sugawara, "but I get where he's coming from. You should really talk to him, Hinata."

So that's what Hinata is planning to do. Except he's no good with words. He considered asking Yamaguchi for advice yesterday, but he ended up too tired. 

 Besides, what would he even say? 

Hey, Kageyama! I've kinda had a huge crush on you since our fight in first year so please forgive me for lying to you? That just sounds fucking wrong. It's not Hinata's strength - the general field of feelings. Of course, Kageyama is worse, but only with girls. He probably likes them too much to function properly. Figures. It's been a trend - Hinata falling for straight guys. In the beginning of first year, he'd been overwhelmed and ended up crushing on several people, all either taken or straight. 

Besides, that's not what this is about. This is about the fact that Hinata lied to Kageyama's face. At the time, he thought he was doing Kageyama a favor. He'd decided, the moment he saw tears streaming Kage's face, that he'd save him from the sob story that was Hinata's failure. Hinata hasn't done a single thing right these past few days, and he knows it. God, he knows it.

First, he fails to be the backbone of his team. He fails to do the single job assigned to the ace - to give the team hope and score. Second, he fails to be a good friend. He lets Kageyama down by throwing away three years of heaven and hell together - by lying.

Hinata sighs and buries his face in his hands, resting his elbows on his knees. Sugawara is right. Kageyama is right. Oikawa is right.

"C-Can I join you?" Hinata's eyes snap up. Where the fuck did he come from? Kageyama towers over him, fidgets with the hem of his shirt but doesn't avert his gaze. He stares right into Hinata, like always. Hinata has always felt Kageyama could see right through him. He could always tell what Hinata was feeling at that moment, better than anyone.

"Yeah," Hinata says, calmer than he feels. In fact, his voice seems nearly monotone with the deafening heartbeat in his chest. Fuck. Hinata takes a deep breath as Kageyama sits next to him awkwardly. He's close, yet also far enough to avoid contact.

"How are you not freezing?" Hinata can tell Kage is trying to lighten the mood that's been pressing down on them since yesterday - fuck, this kid is more perfect than anyone on this earth. Hinata laughs and shakes his head. He's lost feeling in his arms a long time ago. "Tsk." Hinata stills when Kageyama strips off his jersey and gently pulls it around Hinata's shoulders, fingers brushing slightly over naked shoulders. It's all Hinata can do not to flinch. Not that he doesn't like contact with Kageyama - he just gets overwhelmed when it's quiet like this. 

"I need to talk to you, Kageyama," Hinata says after sighing deeply. He pulls the jacket closer, letting himself enjoy the familiar scent for a few seconds. He doesn't look at Kageyama. 

"Yeah, me too," Kageyama says quietly. Hinata figured he'd have some things to say. After all, they've been friends for too long for anything else to be impossible. 

"I'm sorry I lied..." Hinata mumbles, his voice barely louder than a whisper. Why can't he just say it normally. 

"Don't worry about it - seriously, don't," Kageyama says forcefully. Well, at least he seems certain about that. Hinata feels relieved. He doesn't care Kageyama is able to let it all go so easily. He doesn't care if he really shouldn't worry about it. "Have you gotten any of your applications back?" 

What? Kageyama wants to talk about university _now_? Hinata nearly laughs, because conversations with Kageyama have never, ever been boring. 

"Yeah. I got into all three of them," says Hinata. He's still not really sure how he managed to do it, since his grades are still less-than-average. However, all his schools are competitive in their sports, so he supposes that's why. Kageyama nods. 

"Yeah, me too."

"What?"

"I got into the same three. I didn't apply for any other ones." Hinata stares at Kageyama, pulls the jersey closer. Is this guy serious? 

"Why would you do that?!" Hinata jumps to his feet and grips Kageyama by the shoulders, staring into his wide eyes. "Kageyama, you could've gotten into any school you wanted!" Hinata may have been the ace to one of the most successful schools of the decade, but Kageyama has been a monster in the volleyball world since middle school. He's surely been scouted by a dozen schools already, despite losing that final match. He may have even been able to go to Europe, like Ushijima.

HInata can understand turning down the national team, which is exactly what happened in the beginning of this year. Hinata wouldn't want that much pressure in high school either. But turning down the best university volleyball teams? That's just stupid.

"I didn't want to go to a team without my ace." Kageyama's nose is red, and his eyes downcast. Hinata is frozen in place, his body not working like it should. He's always known he'd never work as well with anyone other than Kage, but does he really feel the same? Sure, Kageyama doesn't have the instinctual ability to draw out the best in his teammates that Oikawa has, but he's pretty amazing with people he trusts.

"W-what?" 

"Nobody can spike my tosses like you can, dumbass!" Kageyama is completely red now, his ears more so than the rest of him. Hinata's heart has stopped beating entirely. "There's nobody who can live up to what you've done to me!" What? Hinata never did anything to Kageyama. All he's ever done is slow him down, and spike a few of his tosses. 

"What did I do?" Hinata feels like he's asking too much, but he really needs Kageyama to spell it out - just in case. 

"Y-you..." Kageyama finally looks up, heat practically radiating off of him. There's something in his eyes. It's unsettling yet soothing at the same time. "I don't really know how to say it." 

"Try it anyway." Hinata feels more impatient than ever, though he doesn't want this moment to end. His hands are burning, resting on Kageyama's shoulders, and his chest is exposed through the open jacket. He's uncomfortable, but he feels better than ever. 

"Well... first off - you trusted me." 

"That's not a hard thing to do. Everybody who's been at Karasuno at the same time as you trusts you." Come on, Kageyama, just say something better than that. You owe me that much. Dammit, Hinata's managed to get his hopes up again. Don't fucking do it, he'll never say what you want him to. Hinata decides the best thing to do is to shut himself off from hoping immediately. 

"Shut up and let me speak." Hinata huffs a laugh at the glimpse of the normal Kageyama. Kageyama's hair gets blown from his face a little. "You pulled that fucking crown from my head." 

"I'm sure Oikawa and the others had something to do with that, too," Hinata says, though he can't help but feel the blood rush to his face, too. 

"No. I was drowning when I came to Karasuno. But you pulled me up. You spiked my toss like it was nothing - you held me above the water." Since when did Kageyama get so poetic? Doesn't matter, because Hinata can feel his heart swelling. Even so, he can't help but laugh a little. Kageyama smirks, too. 

"Well... Crows can't swim anyway." What the actual fuck. Kageyama just made this elaborate metaphor and poetic analogy, and all Hinata can come up with is that lame-ass thing. Kageyama bursts out laughing. He throws his head back, and his shoulders shake with every laugh. 

Suddenly he grabs Hinata's waist and pulls him close, burying his face in his chest. Oh, crap. Hinata stills. Even when he's sitting, Kageyama's face reaches Hinata's heart easily. He's gonna hear you heartbeat, Hinata thinks frantically. It's way too fast. He'll notice. Not just that, but it's his bare face against naked chest. Kageyama pushed away the jacket a little, probably because it's uncomfortable. 

"I really like you, dumbass." Oh no. That's the one thing Hinata can't hear from Kageyama. Because now his heart skips a beat, and his hands become sweaty and he starts stammering and he can't stop shaking and oh god, he's noticed. 

Sure enough, Kageyama pulls away from Hinata, but he doesn't look disgusted. In fact, he looks calmer than Hinata has ever seen him. Suddenly he's being pulled down, by Kageyama. Hinata can't stop the momentum before his lips crash into Kageyama's. 

The rough brush of Kageyama's mouth against his own drowns out all other thought. Kageyama's hands - on the sides of his face, by his neck. Kageyama's eyes - closed, peaceful. Kageyama's lips - oh god, they're moving. 

"Oh, shit." Hinata has time to breathe before he climbs into Kageyama's lap without thinking, thighs on either side of him. He runs his hands through Kageyama's hair, pulling his face closer and pressing his body flush against Kageyama's. Kageyama breaths into his mouth, whimpers a little. 

"OI!" Hinata whirls away from Kageyama in an instant, eyes flashing towards the sound of the shout. Kuroo is standing there, in front of everybody else, grinning broadly. Oikawa is right beside him, arms crossed and smirking evilly. Sugawara looks like he's about to cry. "We came here to see you make up, not fuck!" 

"Oh. My. God." That's all Hinata can say. He wishes he can just sink through the floor and never come out because holy fuck were they there the whole time?

Tanaka is laughing is ass off, and Yamaguchi is smiling like an idiot. 

"Finally!" yells Yachi, laughing along with Tanaka. 

"The amount of sexual tension we've had to put up with since first year is disgusting, you guys," says Tsukishima, but the corners of his mouth are tugged up. Oh, so Oikawa wasn't the only one who knew. 

"Shut it, Tsukki!" Yamaguchi yells. "I've walked in on you and Kuroo more times than I can count!" Hinata laughs. That's certainly true. Daichi and Suga laugh, but the looks they're getting from everyone are quite hilarious. They're definitely guilty as well. 

Kageyama throws an arm around Hinata as he laughs. 

For once, Hinata doesn't feel uncomfortable in the slightest. 

Kageyama was right, of course. Hinata won't last one second without his setter. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Lemme know what you guys think :D


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